Top 10 Episodes of Red Dwarf

Red Dwarf has always been one of my favourite TV shows. To those who don’t know it’s a show about some goofballs on a mining ship in space 3 million years after a radiation leak on the ship lead to everyone on the ship dying.

That is to say, it killed everyone except slobbish scouser Dave Lister (Craig Charles) as he was in stasis at the time for smuggling a cat on board. But he is not alone on the ship. There’s also a hologram of his dead bunkmate, the extremely up tight and anal Arnold J. Rimmer, BSc, SSc (Chris Barrie) and an evolved descendant of his cat, um, Cat (Danny John-Jules). These members of the ship are constant, but others include Holly, the ship’s AI (Norman Lovett for series I, II and VIII, and Hattie Hayridge for series III-V), Kryten, an android (one episode in series II by David Ross, then by Robert Llewellyn) and Kristine Kochanski, Lister’s crush (permanent member of the crew for series VII and VIII, played by Chloë Annett).

The show follows these characters as they try to get back to Earth, if only to find out what has become of it. It’s a brilliant premise and there was an amazing amount done with it. The science fiction aspect is great, but isn’t so complex as to alienate the non-scientifically minded of us. It’s funny, dramatic, intense, but mostly funny. The characters work so well together and their relationships feel real.

And there’s another series coming. The special Back to Earth I found to be rather disappointing, but it got enough buzz around it that another series was commissioned. I am so excited. So, with the new series coming soon it’s time to celebrate Red Dwarf with a top 10 list of my favourite episodes.

Spec Ops: The Line

Reviewed Platform: PS3

Other Platforms: Xbox 360, PC

Today’s video game market is flooded with modern day shooters that all seem to make you seem like the hero, but Spec Ops: The Line is a modern day shooter where you feel like anything but. Do you hate life? Do you wish that there was something that would make you feel horrible for simply being human? Do you feel that Apocalypse Now wasn’t interactive enough? Then Spec Ops: The Line is definitely the game for you.

You are Captain Martin Walker, a soldier in the United States Army who goes into a ruined Dubai, which had been hit by horrendous sandstorms, in order to find out the fate of a battalion who were supposed to be evacuating Dubai, but then suddenly dropped off the map. On entry, however, the state of Dubai is a lot worse than at first expected.

Indie Games: Gravity Bone

This is one of my favourite independently made games. Just putting it out there. Gravity Bone, made by Brendon Chung of Blendo Games, isn’t a very long game at all, maybe taking up to 15 minutes on your first play-through, but those are 15 minutes well spent. I also advise playing it first, then reading the rest of this. The link has already been put in the name of the game earlier, but here it is again.

See, the beauty of Gravity Bone is that it shouldn’t be 15 minutes long. Gravity Bone is the first couple of levels of a longer game that was never made. These are the tutorial levels at the start of a game, showing you the world and giving you instructions. But then it stops, and that isn’t at all a bad thing. In fact, it’s brilliant.

Gravity Bone’s story is hard to really explain as I’m not entirely sure there is one. There might be, but I’m not too sure. Suffice to say, it may be about a spy or a hit man or someone like that being given contracts to carry out specific work for some reason. It’s not entirely clear, but you create the story within your head, connecting the dots and possibly understanding the game. That is, unless it is complete nonsense.

But I seriously don’t think the story is important. Gravity Bone appears to be a game attempting to break apart video game conventions. Those tutorial levels I mentioned? Yeah, that is the entire game. The game is two stages of tutorial and this creates an air of safety that is broken down later on in the game. We slowly get fed a world which we never fully experience and there’s some sort of beauty in that when you get to the ending.

I might not have given too much information to really get you to play the game, but Gravity Bone definitely needs to be experienced. It is an utter joy and a game I think everyone should play. Give it a go if you’ve got some time on your hands. Yes, it’s a bit artsy, but it’s worth it, I swear.

Indie Games: Trilby's Notes

Trilby’s Notes is the third game in the Chzo Mythos by Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw. This game follows the main character from the 5 Days a Stranger, the gentleman thief Trilby, after the DeFoe Manor incident. This time the wooden idol from the DeFoe manor has appeared in a hotel in Wales and it seems the curse has not been lifted. Now Trilby must investigate the effects of the curse and try to track down the idol.

The story of the game isn’t amazing. The game is mostly a massive exposition dump that chronicles the curse throughout the centuries. However, whilst the story within the hotel itself is lacking the exposition is great. This is all told extremely well and is incredibly gripping, it’s just a shame that the stuff in the hotel seems like it is there mostly to act as a link between the back story.

Though the hotel isn’t just there for that reason. The hotel parts of the game also feature a Silent Hill style otherworld that serve to create horror. This isn’t your jump scare kind of horror but your atmospheric horror, the stuff that creeps you out as you wander around the hotel. This is extremely effective and builds up the overall tension of the game, especially when the Tall Man (the entity in this game) could, in your head, appear at any time to murder you.

The gameplay of Trilby’s Notes has had a complete overhaul since the previous instalments, opting for the use of a text parser to do actions. This is implemented rather well, though sometimes it can be infuriating trying to figure out what to do at times (especially near the end).

Despite having some flaws, Trilby’s Notes is a good game. Though not as good as its predecessors it has ramped up the horror aspect and added a lot of intrigue for the final instalment in the series. If you’ve played the first two then give it a go as it’s definitely recommended, if only for the brilliant atmosphere.

Indie Games: 7 Days a Skeptic

More sequels should be in a completely different location to the original. Something about the shift from 5 Days a Stranger, set on Earth in the 1990s, to 7 Days a Skeptic, set in space in 2385, really got me. I mean, it just felt great. It did really well to set up the game and make the events from the first game feel like they had a lasting effect.

Sorry, that looks like it should come later on, but that was my initial reaction to the game.

7 Days a Skeptic is the second game in the Chzo Mythos, a series of adventure games by Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw. It follows Dr. Jonathan Somerset, a counsellor on board the spaceship Mephistopheles, as he battles against the unseen force present in 5 Days a Stranger.

The story is told very well, Yahtzee’s writing still holding up. The plot really draws you in as you follow the story’s events. There is a stronger focus on horror in this instalment and several moments in the game are very chilling. This comes about from both the storytelling and some brilliant sound design. Some of the most chilling moments are when you leave the ship using the EVA suit, which cancels out all sound apart from Jonathan’s breathing (rather like 2001: A Space Odyssey).

The gameplay is very similar to the first game and is your basic point-and-click affair. However, during some parts of the game you have to run for your life as you are chased throughout the ship. These moments can be pretty irritating as you may not know what to do (especially at one notorious part of the game), though the ending chase sequence is exhilarating and admittedly heart-pounding.

There are a few issues I have with the game though that mostly comes from the writing. There are some horror movie irritations I had, such as characters splitting up when a killer is on board, as well as some questionable actions (“I need you on the ship, so I’ll let you get sucked into a vacuum!”) One moment that I found myself confused was when the escape pod took a day to function. Not a very good escape pod you’ve got there.

Nonetheless, I enjoyed the game and was honestly drawn in by the plot. It’s not as good its predecessor, but it’s a great sequel. Anyone who liked 5 Days a Stranger will hopefully enjoy 7 Days a Skeptic, though I would understand if they didn’t.

Indie Games: 5 Days a Stranger

You know who Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw is, right? The Zero Punctuation guy? Well, before he became the well-known video game critic/cynic he made his own independent titles. One of these is 5 Days a Stranger.

Made using the Adventure Game Studio, 5 Days a Stranger is the first game in the Chzo Mythos (also known as the DeFoe series), a series of adventure games. The story revolves around Trilby, a gentleman thief who, when intending to burgle the DeFoe Manor finds himself locked in with four others. Throughout the game Trilby attempts to find out what is going on in the manor and tries to escape from the horror within.

The writing is solid and really draws you into the story. The characters feel real and Trilby is extremely endearing. Yet what helps the story is the atmosphere. For the most part the game is silent, with music only playing at dramatic points in the game. However, every now and then you will hear a creak in the house that will grab your attention and unsettle you slightly.

The game as a whole is more character driven than puzzle based. There isn’t much need to think too much when trying to proceed, however there are a few parts where you may find yourself stuff. However, if you keep track of what is written in the books and diaries that you pick up along the way then you should be fine. This creates rewarding gameplay without feeling frustrating, but nor does it feel like the game is holding your hand.

Definitely give this game a go. Even if you don’t play many adventure games you should find the game enough of a challenge whilst still being fun. For people who do play these point-and-click adventure games then you’ll still get enough of a challenge, but it’s really the story that drives the game forwards. Either way, you’ll enjoy 5 Days a Stranger no matter who you are.

Rambling Thoughts: "Mockingjay" by Suzanne Collins

As with my The Hunger Games and Catching Fire posts, this originally appeared on The Book Club Forum and states  my thoughts on Mockingjay, the third and final book in The Hunger Games trilogy.  This was written as soon as I finished the book. 

So, I finished Mockingjay. I'll be honest, I was kinda pumped for it. I was told a lot of the issues I had with the previous book, Catching Fire would be dealt with and the thought that maybe we'd finally get some good action as well as an in depth look at this dystopia kept me going.

I'll be honest, for all I've said about the Hunger Games trilogy I think the setting is pretty good. I like me some dystopian future and I think the general vagueness helps the general setting. On top of that it's something I can honestly believe happening and taking place, with its elements of politics and science fiction. From the very start I've always imagined it to be kinda like the film Zardoz in some strange way. To some this would be a down side, but I really enjoyed Zardoz and imagining a giant floating head instead of the hoverplanes makes me chuckle.

But this world is completely squandered. Collins has the framework of a brilliant future and uses it to tell a pretty crappy story. In Mockingjay we get have the rebellion against the Capitol finally happen. This is great. We should see the war, the battles, the effect it has on the people, the Districts, the toll it takes on the main characters, the Capitol showing fear as everything they have held for so long crumbles around them.

Indie Games: Narbacular Drop

You’ve played Portal, right? Of course you have! Portal is great and if you haven’t played it then you should. Buy it, download it, enjoy it, it’s great.

Why do I bring up Portal? Well, Narbacular Drop is the reason Portal exists. Developed by Nuclear Monkey Software, Narbacular Drop is a game project by a group of students at DigiPen Institute of Technology. From this the developers went on to be hired by Valve to help create Portal.

The gameplay of Narbacular Drop is fairly simple and similar to Portal. You create portals around the environment to solve puzzles and get to the end of the level. Not having a jump ability means that utilising these portals effectively is key to get to the end of a stage. And it's fun.

The gameplay is pretty solid and you can see where Portal came from. The controls are simple to use and solving puzzles is simple enough. From reading around (Wikipedia) it seems this game was to show off what the developers could do and it seems they could do a fair bit. Viewing the game from the standpoint of this being proof of applied concept you can tell a lot of work went into this and that the people who made it had a lot of skill.

There’s not a massive amount to really say about this game other than that it is essentially Portal. There is a story attached, but it is extremely basic and obviously put in only as a framing device, however it does show that the developers were creative outside of the actual gameplay.

If you really enjoyed Portal and want to see its roots then give this game a go. It’s only 6 levels long but really shows off what the developers could do. If you don’t care that much about understanding the humble beginnings of a great game then just play more Portal. It’s a more polished version of this game and fun to boot!

Indie Games: Octodad

Octodad, by The DePaul Game Experience, is one of the strangest games I’ve ever seen and I love it. You play as the eponymous Octodad, an octopus trying to appear as a human by donning a suit. You have to appear as human as octopusly possible (forgive me) to your family by doing chores and helping them out.

This would be simple enough, except because you are an octopus you can’t really walk properly or move your arms with any precision. How does this comes across in the game? Well, to walk you have to use left -click to move your left leg and right-click to move your right leg. Oh, and that’s if you are in feet mode. In hands mode you move around your arm, using left-click to pick things up and right click to move your arm more freely.

With these awful, terrible controls you have to do things like do the dishes, get a book for your daughter or score a goal with a football. These mundane tasks are made somewhat challenging by the controls and this is brilliant. As much as the controls suck this is the point of the game and with the game built around the controls sucking the entire experience is so much fun.

The humour of the game is spot on as well, using the concept well without overdoing it. This adds to the experience and just makes the game so much more worth playing. Alongside this, we also have a brilliant art style that just makes things look great and at times adds to the humour.

Download this game as soon as you can. It’s about 30 minutes long and is extremely fun to play. You might get frustrated with the controls at first but you get to know them and work them well enough. Octodad is one of those bizarre gems that needs to be more widely known and with a sequel coming out (possibly on Steam) it may get the recognition it deserves.

Flash Game Reviews: Don't Look Back

Don’t Look Back is a flash game by Terry Cavanagh of Distractionware. I played this game a few years back when it first came out and loved it. Revisiting it today has made me realise why I loved it. This game is just a brilliant piece of work.

The game tells the story of a guy going to the underworld to rescue what can only be presumed to be his wife. It’s fairly obvious this is an adaptation of the Greek myth of Orpheus travelling to the underworld to get his wife, Eurydice, who recently died. The story of the game isn’t the same as this, with the main character blasting his way through the depths of Hades rather than using beautiful music to charm the god of the underworld.

The story is well told, but this is done simplistically and in a minimalistic style. This simplistic storytelling is especially effective when reaching the end of the game, which comes around abruptly, with an empty feeling. This seems to suit the game tonally, with no ultimate conclusion, leaving the ending up to the player’s interpretation.

The actual gameplay is frustrating as hell. This is due to its Megaman style platforming, requiring precise timing and jumps. You may repeat the same screen twenty times, but you persevere, pushing forwards. On top of this, on the final stretch of the game you are not allowed to turn around, so moving forwards has to be an exact science otherwise you’ll have to play that section again.

Though frustrating, the game isn’t unforgiving. The most you really have to replay when dying is around 2 screens, which is no large feat. Also, whilst some bosses are difficult at first there is a trick to each one that is fairly easy to figure out (though the comments on Kongregate make it seem the people are incapable of understanding how to defeat the Cerberus boss).

With fun, but frustrating, gameplay and a gripping and emotional story, Don’t Look Back is a game I don’t even hesitate to recommend. It’s absolutely beautiful, with an amazing aesthetic and brilliant sound design (I have now downloaded the soundtrack). Play this game when you can. It isn’t very long, so won’t require a massive commitment, but the time you spend on it is totally worth it.

Indie Games: Pilot Light

Another Blendo Games project, Pilot Light is a point-and-click adventure that is a simple homage to the old Sierra and LucasArts games. The game follows our hero as she delivers a package across space. That’s pretty much the plot of the game and I’m OK with that. Point-and-click adventures don’t need any in-depth plot, they just need fun pointy clicky gameplay.

Indeed, the gameplay is pointy, clicky and fun. It’s a fairly basic affair, however, with you combining objects or using them on other things to get to attain your goal. Whilst it is fun it is too simplistic, with things pretty much being laid out for you with very little challenge. No crazy thinking is required, just put this in that and you win.

However, most of the fun comes from the writing. There’s no real story, but there are lots of events that take place. Whether it’s stopping someone robbing a space fuel depot or trying to get a man’s engine back from a monkey, the game has a lot of laughs and an enjoyment factor outside of the core gameplay. I found myself chuckling a fair few times, which made up, I feel, for the lack of challenge.

The art for the game is also pretty good. The rough around the edges style is cohesive with the gameplay and writing and really helps you get a feel for the world. This art style also works well with the animation, which I have to admit I really liked and would liked to have seen more of.

Something that could have improved this game, however, would have been better sound design. The only sounds are these little sound effects that only really play when you pick something up. Having some music in the background or sound effects during the cutscenes, or when doing other things, would have improved how the game felt. The lack of sound made it feel somewhat vacuous at times, which was disappointing.

Overall I’d say give this game a go. It’s pretty short, but it’s a nice little diversion if you have some time to spare. Whilst the gameplay is something to be desired, the writing will keep you going through it.

Rambling Thoughts: "Catching Fire" by Suzanne Collins

As with my The Hunger Games post, this originally appeared on The Book Club Forum and states  my thoughts on Catching Fire, the second book in The Hunger Games trilogy.  This was written as soon as I finished the book. 

So, I just finished Catching Fire and do you know what I did when I finished it? I threw the book away. Not in a bin, but I literally threw the book away. I tossed it aside because that book was not at all to my liking. Seriously, I was bored throughout the majority of the book, but forced myself through it because I have already got the third book and I have got this far, so I may as well continue.

So, what were my issues with the book? Well, there’s a few things. Content-wise I found the book bland and dull. I spent the first two thirds of the book guessing most of the twists the books tried to set up, but they were all so obvious, and when the twist at the end of the second third came along I had already guessed it nearly 100 pages ago.

Things did pick up by the last third, but that didn’t help too much. The dynamic of having all of the characters did make things a lot more interesting, but it didn’t help too well as I definitely think Collins has a big issue with the book’s pacing. I noticed the book was rapidly coming to a close and nothing had exactly happened.

The semi-love triangle business near the start irritated me to no end and made me think Katniss was now more concerned with what the boys will be thinking. The boys are both so bland that it’s hard to care about any of them.

Oh, and I have absolutely no idea why the Capitol would put someone who causes the rumblings of revolution is the public eye so consistently. I could understand if they did it with strict regulations and complete and utter control, but they don't. How the Capitol became this powerful I will never know as they make some of the worst decisions to control their populous.

But what irked me the most about this book has to be what happened to Katniss. Oh, Katniss, you were, for the most part, a strong female lead. What happened to you?

Throughout the entire book Katniss doesn’t do anything for herself. As I said, she constantly seemed to be concerned with what the guy’s thought of her. On top of that, she doesn’t actually make any decisions, just has everyone do everything for her. I feel this may have been thematic, that she is a pawn in everyone else’s fight, but it came across as a sight-seeing tour. We weren’t following what the character is doing, just being shown what they see.

I really feel that Collins messed up big time with this book. It was dull and made me lament for the death of characterisation. Things happened, but there was no emotional weight to it. In my previous post you will notice I asked a lot of questions. Well this time I haven’t asked any non-rhetorical questions because there’s nothing to ask. It all felt like it was going through motions rather than telling the deep, insightful story it thinks it is telling.

I really hope Mockingjay does something different, because the familiarity of the last third of the book left me irritated. Give me something to care about and I might enjoy the last book, because, as you can probably tell, I didn’t enjoy Catching Fire at all.

Indie Games: Grotto King

Recently I’ve been playing through a fair few independently made games. When playing these indie games you often find you play a fair few from a certain developer. One such developer is Brendon Chung, lead of award-winning independent games company Blendo Games.

Grotto King is a free game that comes from this company. The game is pretty short, coming at maybe 8 minutes overall. You are on a quest to kill a monster in its lair and your reward is a massive bounty. So you venture forth, into the dungeon/well. Glory awaits!

The actual gameplay mechanics are fine. The inability to look up or down I found to be irritating, but there really isn’t any need to look up or down. The gameplay at the very least is built around this limitation. You fire arrows at the three monsters in this game (or four birds that will explode) and at targets. The targets are there to trigger moving blocks or doors to open, but there are no real puzzle elements.

That’s about it for the game, actually. There’s nothing specifically interesting about the game other than exploding wildlife. You kill a few beholders/eye-monsters in simplistic fights, and then it finishes. The ending to the game is abrupt and somewhat disappointing and the gameplay is adequate, but nothing spectacular. There’s no specific story to speak of to carry you through, so nothing really shines through.

Saying that, though, the general aesthetic is great. I did like the look of the game, though the eyeball monsters were somewhat disappointing. The environment was very good, yes, but it was nothing to really make the game great. 

Overall, the game is fairly bland, but I can tell work definitely went into it. If there were better fights or maybe a better/funny ending then I could enjoy it more, but all I can do right now is say “Meh...”

Rambling Thoughts: "The Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins

This was originally written as a post on The Book Club Forum, simply to go through my thoughts on the first book of the Hunger Games trilogy. This was written when I was about 7 chapters into the second book, Catching Fire, whilst tired and without any regard for structure. There are big spoilers for the book, too. If you have any answers for my randomly placed questions then please comment and let me know what you thought.

Can't help but say I was kind of underwhelmed by The Hunger Games. I enjoyed the stuff at the beginning. The first chapter made me fall in love with the book with how I came to understand the entire world within such a short period of time, and as it went on I was enjoying myself. I have to admit I was starting to get a bit bored with how everything was dragging out before the actual Hunger Games but I knew I'd get Battle Royale-esque escapades coming up.

And then the Hunger Games started and I just found everything a bit dull. Everything happened far too quickly, with too much bad stuff happening to Katniss within a few chapters. It started getting ridiculous the amount of times she had stuff flying at her.

It seemed that Collins tried getting all of the horrible things out of the way to build up a bland (possible) romance with some bland guy, creating a bland love triangle which appears out of place, especially at the beginning of Catching Fire. The love stuff is just so out of place, in my eyes, and ruins the strong character of Katniss and the pacing of the book. But Collins seems to have some issue with pacing, going from super speedy to boringly.

Regardless, I did kind of enjoy it, but I found it so dull at times. I was constantly wishing for things to happen.

One of the things I think that could have been improved is a bit more focus on the action. I didn't really feel the tension as most of the time she was on her own. Keep more people alive, have more encounters, increase the dread. Instead I was just thinking "Yeah, she'll be fine!" which, in a book like this, should not be what I am thinking. I should be wanting her to be fine against all odds. Instead, she has fire thrown at her and is poisoned but comes out all OK!

The lack of threat could have been due to the fact that we didn't spend much time with other characters. Cato never seemed to be enough of a threat, just kind of there looking for her and not doing much. Thresh was nothing, Foxface had a couple of cameos, the Careers... existed, I guess, and everyone else didn't matter. Deaths had no real impact. This, of course, comes from the fact that the book is written in first person, which meant Katniss couldn’t see everything else. But if maybe we heard about what awful things happened then maybe I could care more.

Thresh’s death seemed to cheat us of a good fight scene as it was done off screen. Did it take its toll on Cato? Did Thresh fight valiantly? Was he overcome with rage? What happened?!

And the ending was all kind of... what? I mean... what? What was with the muttations? I hope they get explained later in the books, because that bit seemed to completely jump the shark. Not that anyone questioned it, really.

Though, it’s not like anyone questioned anything. So often I thought Katniss would ask questions, to find things out (mostly asking Peeta why the hell he was with the Careers) but nope. She doesn’t. Instead she just blindly goes along with everything in ignorance, not even caring to wonder after Collins is done with that bit of the book.

Oh, and am I the only one who thinks Rue didn’t get enough time in the book for us to form an emotional attachment to her? She was just there one minute, then she was gone.

But yeah, those are my rambling thoughts on it. No editing done there, bar spoilers, to really make this make sense, but hopefully it does. So tired, so it probably reads horribly. Like I said, I still enjoyed the book, I just have a lot of issues with the latter parts of the book.

Book Review: The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

Greece in the age of heroes. Patroclus, an awkward young prince, has been exiled to the court of King Peleus and his perfect son Achilles. Despite their differences, Achilles befriends the shamed prince, and as they grow into young men skilled in the arts of war and medicine, their bon blossoms into something deeper – despite the displeasure of Achilles’ mother Thetis, a cruel sea goddess. But when word comes that Helen of Sparta has been kidnapped, Achilles must go to war in distant Troy and fulfil his destiny. Torn between love and fear for his friend, Patroclus goes with him, little knowing that the years to follow will test everything they hold dear.

The Song of Achilles was a book I was wary to even touch. I did Classical Civilisations at A Level and because of this I like anything referring to classical literature to be somewhat accurate. I can’t watch Disney’s Hercules thanks to this and whilst O Brother, Where Art Thou? is a great film but I couldn’t shake off the fact that it was too loosely based on the Odyssey. So when I saw that Madeline Miller BA and MA in Latin and Ancient Greek I thought I should give it a go.

To my pleasant surprise I found that the novel is actually fairly accurate to the original Homeric epics. Events, for the most part, take place how and when they should. Some liberties are taken with the story, such as Patroclus’ back story being tweaked, but this is artistic license that I can completely understand.

You see, Patroclus doesn’t really have much written about him. He’s mostly known just because of Achilles and that is all, whilst Achilles has more tales about him prior to Troy. Miller uses this well and uses his story to generate sympathy for the character, who has had a difficult childhood in the book – and it works!

The character of Patroclus is very sympathetic at first, being unloved by his father, then accidently killing some kid, leading him to be exiled. This is all pretty damn tragic, so when he starts getting on with Achilles you feel happy for him. I mean, he deserves some happiness.

But then we get a massive issue with this book: the characters. See, it’s all well and good having the characters be sympathetic at the beginning but not have too much character. They are just kids; they should grow and develop throughout the story. But they don’t. Both Patroclus and Achilles are so bland that they could give Aeneas a run for his money in the “Blandest Classical Character” competition (I jest! I love you, Aeneas!).

This utter blandness stretches further than the main two characters, though. Most characters are bland and dull. The ones who aren’t are usually made up of single emotions, such as Agamemnon, who is just rage, or Pyrrhus, who reminds me a lot of Joffrey from Game of Thrones. The only characters I could say I liked were Odysseus, possibly due to my love of him from the Odyssey, and Briseis, who actually had emotions.

Characters are obviously not Miller’s strong point, and this carries over in the dialogue. Conversations can be hard to follow if speech has no name beside it as no character has personality to distinguish themselves, aside from Odysseus. On top of this, it seems Miller at times actively attempts to avoid dialogue, which becomes quite evident later on.

However, Miller does have a strong point in her description. At times she can beautifully describe certain areas or people. The book is narrated by Patroclus, so the world is described from his point of view. Because of this, however, it seems that some description can be lacking. She can brilliantly tell you about Achilles’ naked body over and over, but when it gets to battle she seems to have no way of making the fighting flow.

I had other issues with the narrative. On many occasions the structure of “If he was (insert emotion) then he did not show it.” I believe that formula may have been used at least ten times throughout the novel, maybe even more. This just felt clunky later on when it happened in quick succession. Furthermore, Miller would spend a long time describing a few days, then suddenly skip through 5 years for no apparent reason, which happened to be quite jarring. Nonetheless, for the most part the description is fairly strong and is important for carrying the plot forwards.

But then we have another issue: the plot. The start of the novel eases you in to understanding Patroclus, the situation he’s in, et cetera. He befriends Achilles, falls in love with him, and then they head off to get trained by a centaur for a bit. Then the book kind of stalls for a while, with nothing in particular happening.

Without the in depth and interesting characters we don’t have anything to really help us through this period. I nearly completely abandoned the book, but I was waiting for Troy to start. When I thought Troy was on the horizon the book stalled a bit more, had a few interesting parts at Troy and then ended with what seemed like an incredibly rushed ending.

My biggest issue with the plot had to be that the homosexual relationship between Achilles and Patroclus seemed incredibly forced. There seemed to be no romance, no real love. Just lust. Patroclus constantly comments on how Achilles looks, not his personality. But when hints at heterosexuality come along at times there is focus upon personality, which confused me. Did Miller have a kind of agenda, or am I looking into things a bit too much? Probably the latter... definitely the latter, but it still concerned me.

Despite all of this, though, I have to say I did enjoy the book. Well, to an extent. It is definitely an easy to read book and does have a lot to offer people who don’t know the origins of the tale. The writing is somewhat simplistic and not necessarily deep, so is hard to put down. But, as I’ve said before, there are many issues I found with the plot and narrative structure.

The Song of Achilles won the Orange Prize for Fiction in 2012. I don’t mean to be too harsh on the book because it wasn’t bad, but I think the other books in the running for the prize money must have been kind of bad, otherwise I don’t see how this won. Maybe it’s because it has its roots in the Iliad, the influence of the Homeric epic pushing it through to win. For me the book was pretty average. Readable, but nothing to get excited about.